The first call came about two minutes after I posted THIS on Craigslist. “Hi I’m calling about the apartment for rent?” “Holy crap, I only posted that two minutes ago!” We talked on the phone for a few minutes while I tried selling all the best points of the apartment to her, just in case no one else was interested. Two months ago, as far as I knew, my pal Kate would be subletting our apartment for the three and a half months while Mark and I would be on the road. A month ago she had too many worries about taking over: “I don’t have the money - I have to spend too much time at home or that place would fall apart - I would probably never stay there on the weekends - I don’t even make that much per month.” Okay, I was sad, then angry, then passive - We’re going on a road trip for that long, who says we even want to come back to this place?

So I posted the ad, and changed the title three or four times until it seemed just right “$1080 / 2br - Cute, sunny, apartment in friendly, safe neighborhood - No Broker Fee! (Montclair)” Apparently that was the magic headline. Five minutes after that first call, I received two more. Then three and four, fivesixseven. I took my phone number off the ad, that should slow them down. Well, the ad was posted last Thursday, the 14th. It’s Monday evening now, and I now have a total of 94 inquiries to our Craigslist ad in my inbox - so many I had to make a special label/folder for them in my Gmail account. I emailed everyone back, I couldn’t schedule 94 individual appointments, many I’m sure would be broken, so we decided on two days of apartment viewings from 12-8, this Monday and Tuesday.
Then the questions: How is parking? W/D hookup? (”what’s a w/d hookup?” “Oh that’s a washer/dryer.” “Oooh okay”) Utilities cost? Where does the landlord live? Are dogs alright? (yes, it says so in the ad) etc. etc. The one I took the most time to answer “How are you going to choose a tenant if more than one person wants it?” Well I came up with a list of things I wanted in the next potential renters, for example someone who can afford the place! But some I didn’t state, like my hopes to find a hot chick who likes comic books, then she could date Todd, our 2nd floor neighbor who draws for DC Comics (he corrected me and asked for preferably a hot chick who likes beers). OR I wanted to find another couple, really, a cool couple. They don’t exactly have to be like Mark and I, just someone who could make our home their own once we’re gone and be friends with the neighbors we’ve just befriended ourselves (I’ll miss them!)
Our apartment wasn’t clean in the least bit, which is why I told everyone to stop by on Monday instead of right away - we needed to clean, deep clean. Clean in places we’ve never even attempted to swipe a Magic Erase across in the three years and four months we’ve lived here. That took most of Saturday and Sunday, and also a good four hours of arguing on Monday.
When we have parties, everyone is at least an hour late, so hopefully these renters would be, too. NOPE! 12pm the bell rings. Super cool couple! They’re who I want to rent the place too! A good looking and charming duo, young, yet she has some cool grey streaks in her hair, I like young people with grey strands. He’s from Argentina and teaches music: guitar, piano, you know. He’s got a great accent, too. “Okay, well I’m hoping to find a cool couple to take our place.” “Well, if you find a cooler couple than us, let us know.” I thought she would be right.
The next couple came up as the first were leaving. And for the next few hours, couples and roommates of all shapes and sizes came to visit the apartment. Now I didn’t know what to do. A really nice guy with a cool name (Engelburt), two guys who attended MSU and really, really loved the place, a girl who looked around for a minute and said “What would you say if I gave you the security deposit today?!” A couple who had just finished a two month road trip in Central America and talking to them really pumped us up for our own road trip. One guy who I will call Highway Clown (because that was his email [his girlfriend’s email is Bra Girl]) actually farted while talking to me, and that was totally alright with me. They all loved the place. And I loved all of them. Everyone was on their best behavior, everyone was super friendly. “Oh! I liked her!” “You like all of them, Katie.” Mark was right. How could I choose? How would I know the right person when I like them all and want to have them all as my friend. Damn, they were just so charming. Many of them were apartment hunting vets by now, some searching for as long as seven months. They knew what they were doing.
When we moved into our apartment, it was empty for three months beforehand, I don’t think our landlord could find anyone who wanted the plain white walls, ugly brown carpet and dirty unmopped tile floor. But post THIS link to some Flickr photos from our lives in the apartment, and we had more responses than we ever imagined. Each person who came to view the apartment wanted to know, “How will you pick” And then it dawned on me: I would just take all the names and hold a lottery drawing to find our replacement. I gave the three minute apartment tour, let the people walk around, ask questions, look through all our drawers, closets, and even test out how strong the flush is on our toilet. Then I’d tell them “If this apartment is in your top three, sign this email list. We’ll email you on Sunday, and ask if it’s your number one choice (thus giving them a week to find others to compare it to), if it is, you’ll be entered to win A YEAR LEASE IN AN ORANGE, PINK AND GREEN-ROOMED APARTMENT!”
Well, after the first excruciating (yet fun) day of apartment viewing, we have 23 people who are serious about renting our apartment. Most of them were really happy to hear we aren’t doing a first come, first rent basis. One girl told me “I take the train home from the city everyday at 6:30pm, most of the time they call me while I’m on the train to tell me the apartment has already been rented.” But our place is a real steal (cheap, pets allowed, pumpkin patch in the backyard!!!) and really special to us - we have raised our dog Mister in this apartment, thrown as many different parties as I could imagine (Welcome Home from Iraq, Mark! Terriarium Party! Tie-Dye & Cheese Party!), argued, laughed, cried, and really grown as a couple and as two individual people here. So whoever gets the place, I want them to really want it, and I want it to be fair.
Also, no single hot chicks came by, not one! Sorry Todd. Maybe at the next viewing.